Posts Tagged ‘sarah louise heath palin’

Sarah Palin, “Gotcha” Flutist

October 1, 2008

Sarah and I have a lot in common. We are both born in 1964. And we both play the flute. I remember when “The Homecoming” was a popular piece among flutists, so I’m not surprised that Sarah selected the piece to play in the Miss Alaska pagent.

So let me put my cards on the table. Sarah should be congratulated for learning an instrument. That’s a universal positive and it’s increasingly rare to find instrumentalists.

But, Sarah, it’s another “gotcha” situation on video. There’s no surer way to get flutists’ embouchures puckered out of shape than by evoking the great controversies:

  1. “flutist” vs “flautist”
  2. Galway vs Rampal

Poor John McCain. Is he going to have to sit in with you on your next set? Your answers put you right in the elitist camp. Remember: You are the champion of Joe six-pack. Okay, you’re Joe six-pack with hundreds of thousands of dollars in retirement accounts and an airplane and 26 vehicles registered in your name and Todd’s. But it’s still beer, not a six-pack of fine California wine.

So remember: Joe six-pack likes a “flutist” and listens exclusively to Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull.

Update: New rationales for Sarah playing her flute on the campaign trail!

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Bristol Palin Drug Video: At Least the National Enquirer has Stopped Talking About the Affair

September 17, 2008

They’ve just moved onto other members of Sarah Palin’s family.

National Enquirer: The Sarah Palin Scandals: Call of the Wild”

I’ll write more when it hits the news stand (you know I can’t get enough about my girl, Sarah!), but to summarize for now:

  • Todd isn’t the only Palin with a drinking and driving problem. His brother, James, was involved in a hit-and-run incident about 20 years ago where the woman almost died after he pulled her out from under her car and sped away. James was fined $50.
  • James Palin has his own marital drama and child out of wedlock. He is allegedly in good shape now and out of that drama.
  • Todd’s mother, Blanche Kallstrom, sued the U.S. government for emotional distress. She was involved in a case where she accidentally serving a child a lye-based detergent thinking it was fruit juice while at a gathering at a alcohol recovery program. The child sustained permanent injuries.  I assume that the program was federally funded which is why the US government was ever involved. Child’s mother sued government, government filed third-party complaint against Blanche for sharing of fault, Blanche counter-sued US government for damages caused by emotional distress of seeing what had happened to child. Case with mother was settled, government’s complaint was dismissed, then Branche’s case was dismissed. Copy of decision is here. It also mentions that Todd’s stepfather, who owns a supplies store, has filed over 100 suits in small claims court for what sounds like unpaid customer accounts.
  • And the big one. Bristol Palin drug video.

I’ll go to the store later to see if I can buy a copy. You might also want to check out the recent MSNBC report about Sarah Palin and her witch hunting pastor. No, I’m not kidding.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Sarah Palin

September 15, 2008

If it weren’t for Sarah Palin’s vice-presidential candidacy, I know I’d never read this much. I don’t know why Sarah isn’t talking about her impact on American literacy. I read that the National Enquirer readership has been skyrocketing. I personally thought their piece on “Yoga Eases Menopause” in the September 15, 2008 issue was better written than the one on the alleged Sarah Palin’s Affair. But to each his own. And could someone please tell me why the National Enquirer post-dates the magazine almost two weeks ahead?

So here I am fixated before my computer and reading, reading, and reading even more. I admit I am sometimes confused by the McCain-Palin campaign. For the first week after McCain selected Palin as his vice-presidential running-mate I did not know what to think. How could McCain select Sarah Palin when she has so little experience in politics, does not have a strong background in foreign policy, economics, or science, has some issues in her family that would probably be best left away from public scrutiny, was raised in and continues to attend churches considered unbiblical and heretical by fundamentalist and evangelicals, and has never tried out the national stage?

But now as we enter Week 3 of the McCain-Palin campaign it suddenly hit me. I was on my cell phone when I was struck by divine inspiration. McCain’s selection of Palin is all part of John McCain’s support of the policy of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Sarah Palin”.

Regardless of all the other inconsistencies in John McCain’s campaign, his position has been consistent regarding “Don’t ask, Don’t tell, Sarah Palin”. He’s asking people to not ask Sarah Palin touchy questions, and if you’re pushy he’ll refer these questions to a spokesperson so Sarah won’t have to tell you directly what she thinks.

For example:

National Security and Foreign Policy.
Religion.
Gays.
Rape kits.
Her email.
Iraq.
What’s husband Todd doing hanging out at work with her so much?.
Troopergate.
That tanning bed in the Governor’s Mansion. A word of advice, Sarah. If you want to get your Vitamin D and be fiscally conservative, get a full-spectrum light box. They’re about $32,720 cheaper and don’t give you skin cancer.

[I can’t resist a quick shout out to my favorite helmsman George “Sulu” Takei who just married his long-term boyfriend. No way they’re breaking up now, Captain!]

Sarah Palin on Saturday Night Live

September 15, 2008

I’m glad that Sarah Palin finally settled once and for all that she and Hillary Clinton differ on important issues. Or, at least Hillary set the record straight. Or, maybe Tina Fey and Amy Poehler did? I get confused some times.

Saturday Night Live Video on Los Angeles Times Blog.
Saturday Night Live Video on NBC.com.

The Sarah Palin Interview and the H-Bomb: What Was She Thinking?

September 13, 2008

I am so upset at Sarah Palin. During her ABC Interview Sarah let slip her admiration of Senator Hillary Clinton.

Sarah Palin Picture

Sarah: Take an OxyContin and chill out! You’re not supposed to admire Hillary! Sure, you two are gynecological twins (at least according the medical text books). But you so do not want the National Enquirer writing this up as an affair or, perhaps worse, a mere dalliance.

Sarah: It’s time for some constructive criticism. I know McCain’s people haven’t had a lot of time to prepare you for your first national interview. So the two of you didn’t get on the same page about your request for $200 million in federal projects while you were governor. And maybe you two need to decide on what’s the story about the Bridge to No Where. I need a score card to keep track: Now McCain’s saying you DIDN’T support it, but you’re saying you DID support it? I realize that people have a short memory, so please keep this posted on your web site or something so they can find your latest stance. But be careful: People can be mean and they might start calling you something derogatory like a flip-flopper. They’re already calling you that regarding all the colleges you cycled through. Please, God, don’t let me hear that you buy a new moose rifle every year; the press would have a field day with that.

So I realize that you are under a lot of pressure to catch up and learn on the fly. But here are a few things to remember about how different you are from Hillary and how much you do NOT wish that she were running as vice-president.

  1. Hillary is Pro-Choice. Sarah you are against any Choice. Particularly regarding abortion, you are called absolutely NO CHOICE.
  2. Hillary only has one child. You have five.  Hillary’s daughter is grown up and on her own. You have a 5-month old infant with special needs and two young girls still in the house. You’re not the same kind of working mother that Hillary is. But at least Track is out of the house and you probably won’t let Bristol back in, either.
  3. Hillary’s cell phone does not jolt people into ecstasy. Your cell phone does. Cool trick! And according to the video you don’t need to be in a church to make the trick work!
  4. Hillary is a seasoned veteran of politics with strong interests in reforming health care in the United States. You like to hunt moose. Hunting moose makes for a better picture of Sarah Palin than fussing over boring papers to resolve our health care crisis. Repeat to yourself and everyone in earshot, “Moose. I hunt moose.”
  5. Hillary supports gay people by marching in parades. You pray away the gay from parades. I guess they really gum up the runners of your snow mobile after you run them over.
  6. Hillary’s husband had affairs. You’re the one who had the affair. But if they come up with stories of Todd having an affair, rather than just getting his hands dirty in the whole Troopergate scandal, then I guess that makes you even.
  7. Hillary does not use the prayers of witch hunting pastors to win elections. You do.
  8. And then there were all those other interviews on rival network CBS with Katie Couric. Hillary never got that far with Katie Couric!