Archive for the ‘Joe Six-Pack, Plumber, etc’ Category

Sarah Palin’s $150,000 Clothes Budget

October 22, 2008

Ouch. And the Republican National Committee spent that much in less than two months. Now how is Joe the Plumber supposed to compete with this when he buys his girlfriend a Christmas present?

Read about it here at

Republicans are NOT happy about this, either. Read it on the Huffington Post.

Update: Apparently saying that you’re going to donate the clothes to charity after the election still might not make it an allowable expense to be covered by political contributions under the Federal Elections Commission rules. Read: You’re supposed to buy your own clothes. Back in 1993 a Mavericky Senator from a southwestern state tried to tighten up the use of political contributions for personal use saying that the restrictions were written too loosely and could be misused.

“The use of campaign funds for items which most Americans would consider to be strictly personal reasons, in my view, erodes public confidence and erodes it significantly.”

– Senator John McCain, on the Senate Floor. May 1993.


Top Ten Imaginary Friends Named Joe That John McCain Will Befriend to Help Him Win the Election

October 17, 2008
  1. Joe the Plumber. His Story: He says he can’t afford to buy his own plumbing business under Barack Obama’s tax plan.  But in the end it turns out he’s not really a plumber and he’s better off tax-wise under Obama than McCain. And he’s named “Sam”. Yet through it all he clings to his fantasy life.  (done)
  2. Joe the Red-Neck, Racist, Loyal Republican Voter. His Story: His name is spelled correctly at the registrar of voters office, so he gets to vote this November. He has half-siblings named Jovan the Voter, Jonetta the Voter, and Joji the Voter with whom he is not on speaking terms.
  3. Joe the Angry Hooligan in the Audience. His Story: Only John McCain is able to calm him as he screams “kill him” and “terrorist” at a startled, elderly woman with a “Yes We Can – Obama ’08” lapel button. This is caught on television as evidence of McCain’s kinder, gentler side.
  4. Joe the Flutist. His Story: His playing doesn’t rally flutists against him like Sarah Palin’s playing does. Instead of the Facebook Group “Flutists Against Sarah Palin” there’s a Facebook Group called “Flutists Named Joe Against Sarah Palin”.
  5. Joe the Woman in the Audience Frightened of Arabs. Her Story: She’s not only uncertain about the sanctity of our nation’s borders under Obama, but she’s not all that certain about her gender either. Neither candidate wants to answer her health care questions.
  6. Joe the Kegger. His Story: Able to consume beer more economically than his spendthrift, six-pack a day brother.
  7. Joe the Flame of Florida. His Story: He’s 50 years younger than the original “Marie the Flame of Florida” and much more flexible.
  8. Joe the General Contractor. His Story: One plumber isn’t enough to maintain McCain’s eight (or ten?) homes.
  9. Joe the Talk Show Host. His Story: He promises not to get mad at John McCain regardless of how many dates he breaks.
  10. Joe the Maverick. His Story: Lost out to James Garner for a movie and television career when the studio decided that “Brett” was a more honest sounding name than “Joe”.

And the losers?

  1. Joe Six-Pack Abs. His Story: He can’t be John McCain’s friend because that would take away from his time in the gym.
  2. Joe Cool. HIs Story: This fine specimen of a beagle keeps his distance from John’s pitbull, Sarah.
  3. Joe Camel. His Story: Cancer. We don’t need the voters thinking about cancer.
  4. Joe McCarthy. His Story: Too liberal for Sarah Palin’s taste.
  5. Joe Lieberman: His Story: Too undependable.
  6. Joe Frazier: His Story: After he lost to Ali, everyone started calling him “That One”.
  7. Joe Montana. His Story: Why emphasize that John McCain may lose the state?
  8. Joe Biden. His Story: Is he available?
  9. Joe Wurzelbacher. His Story: His name’s too hard to remember and we need a real plumber.
  10. Joe the Husband of Mary and Father of Jesus. His Story: Do I need to repeat myself? We need a PLUMBER! And his son was a community organizer, which is a questionable line of work.
  11. Joe the Heiress Wife. Her Story: She’s paying a tax rate of 26% on reported income of $4.2 million for 2007. That’s something that you don’t want to emphasize when you’re trying not to be elite.
  12. Joe the Thoughtful Evangelical Christian. Her Story: She’s voting for Obama.

Say It Ain’t So, Joe the Plumber! You ARE a Republican Plant

October 16, 2008

According to the Daily Kos:

  1. You don’t have a plumbing license.
  2. You registered as a Republican for the primary election but with your name misspelled by the Ohio registrar — so you might get purged before you get to vote in the general election.
  3. And you owe back taxes.

And you’re regurgitating Republican talking points to the media in more interviews than Sarah Palin has given in the past month. Sigh. Better keep your day job, whatever it is. And John McCain better stick to craps rather than poker when he gambles — he was positively gloating over you in the third debate.

And wait, there’s more from the San Francisco Chronicle:

  1. Your first name’s really Sam.
  2. You used to live in Arizona and Alaska.
  3. You owe a lot of money and there’s a lien on your property.
  4. You intended to meet Obama on that casual, Sunday walk around but have later characterized it as a surprise encounter.
  5. Unless you got your own plumbing license, you couldn’t own your own plumbing business in Ohio. And because you don’t have a plumbing license you’re not supposed to work as a plumber in Ohio.

So maybe calling you a “plant” is a little harsh. Let’s just say that you’re a guy who made up a story, pushed to get himself on television and the media probably with the help of republicans, is now featured in a campaign ad for John McCain, and no one vetted you very thoroughly. Oops.

Say It Ain’t So, Joe the Plumber! Are You Really a Republican Plant?

October 16, 2008

The answers are here.

Quick note about the site that featured a story about Joe the Plumber the day of the third debate. This group has a history of faking stories of average people with compelling, conservative viewpoints. Ouch.

So an average Joe Wurzelbacher talks to Obama on camera while Obama does a casual walk-through on a street in Holland, OH on Sunday, October 12th. He has a full, in-depth, interview with him posted on October 15th on conservative web site that discusses his chance encounter with Obama, Socialism, health care policy, immigration, and what he’d like John McCain to say during the debate on the 15th. Then on October 15th 3PM EST John McCain mentions Joe’s name incessantly during the debate. By that evening, Joe’s been interviewed by multiple news sources including Katie Couric where she reached him by phone in Holland, OH. Wow. He even manages to get a Sammy Davis, Jr. tap dance reference in there.

So why is Joe the Plumber easier to interview than Sarah Palin? Is it because he’s a Republican Plant? Come October 16th this regular Joe the Plumber is going to hit all the morning talk shows. And the McCain campaign claims there was no “heads up” that he was going to be mentioned throughout the debate. Oh, please. I guess this means there will be a lot of leaking pipes in Holland, OH. And I now also know why John McCain plays craps and not poker; he broadcasts his hand. It is a small consolation to me: I thought John McCain was losing his mind the way he fixated on Joe the Plumber throughout the debate.

As a small-business owner I gotta look him in the eye and unblinkingly ask Joe: You’re really going to buy a two-person plumbing business and immediately net more than $250,000 annually?

This inquiring mind really, really wants to know what’s up with you, Joe the Plumber.

Intriguing Updates:

I Did Not Understand What John McCain Was Talking About During the Third Presidential Debate

October 16, 2008

October 15, 2008.

Please correct me if I’m mistaken, but was John McCain marginally comprehensible. Or to put it another way, was John McCain losing his train of thought throughout the debate.

Additionally, was McCain’s behavior downright odd. I believed he vascillated between:

  • avoidance (“I will not say Bill Ayers, I will not say Bill Ayers, I will not say Bill Ayers”)
  • hurt (“Make John Lewis take it back!”)
  • ferocity (“I will say Bill Ayers, and he’s a washed up terrorist!”)
  • cunning (“heh, heh, heh, heh”)
  • humility (“I am from a long line of McCains who have served this country.”)
  • feigning confusion (As he left the stage McCain made exaggerated gestures as if to show he didn’t know where to go, isn’t that funny I don’t know where to go, and, heck, where am I supposed to go? Except, it was neither the time nor place to gesticulate like one of the Three Stooges. I had no idea what to think of that.)
  • the whole extended episode of Joe the Plumber. Did McCain actually name him four or five times? The first time was sort of folksy. The second time was sort of whatever. But after that it was weird.

It was odd. I’m not a McCain supporter, but I’m not saying this just because of that. His behavior was simply odd. And it really looked like he was averting his face so the camera would not catch his left side. I think the swelling in his neck/jaw has worsened and it can’t be comfortable for him. I think it’s impeding his speech, too.

Any psychiatrists or psychologists out there?

Update: Interesting speculation that Joe the Plumber is a plant by the McCain campaign. It would make John McCain look less insane for mentioning him throughout the debate. And how did Joe the Plumber (Joe Wurzelbacher) get all these interviews published on 10/15/2008 — particularly by conservative internet sites like It makes him look like he was, ah, waiting and ready for McCain to mention him by name.