A List of Fair and Non-Partisan Questions for Sarah Palin

It’s been a week since Sarah’s coming out debate with Joe Biden, but it’s been a disappointing week. Except for a few interviews (mostly with FoxNews), a couple of chats on local television affiliates, and a 15-minute exchange with her traveling press corps, there’s been no real opportunity to learn about Sarah. She’s spoken before many rallies and riled up the crowds, but she’s never been given an opportunity to answer fair and non-partisan questions from the press that she’s waiting for.

Until now.

I have gathered the greatest media minds that I know and put together a simple, multiple choice questionnaire that Sarah or any fifth-grader could answer during juice break. I’m hoping that Sarah and/or her spokesperson could find the time to provide us the answers we need to “getcha” know her better.

Here goes:

1. Who is your favorite actor on NBC’s Saturday Night Live?
    a. Ronald Reagan
    b. The maverick one
    c. Tiny Fey
    d. Any woman not prettier than myself

2. If you were stranded on a desert island, who would you want as your sole companion?
    a. Brad Hanson (Warning: This is the gotcha question!)
    b. A Real American
    c. Bullwinkle and a gun
    d. Can I choose something other than fish?

3. If you found a magic lamp, rubbed it, and a genie appeared to grant you one wish, what would you wish for?
    a. A world filled with small-town values that do not mock me
    b. Another chance to play “The Homecoming” on my flute during the talent portion of the Miss Alaska pagent. If only I hadn’t missed that one note….
    c. “We had a great discussion with President Zardari as we talked about what it is that America can and should be doing together to make sure that the terrorists do not cross borders and do not ultimately put themselves in a position of attacking America again or her allies. And we will do what we have to do to secure the United States of America and her allies.”
    d. A prayer to put the evil witch back into the lamp (Warning: This might be a gotcha question!)

4. What is your favorite animal?
    a. That’s sexist.
    b. A middle American working mom
    c. God
    d. Whatever my running mate proposes for energy independence.

5. Aside from a Palin presidency, what would you like to leave as your legacy?
    a. A Palin presidency
    b. A hockey mom on every Main Street
    c. A Bridge to Walmart
    d. A Putin afraid to fly Russia over Alaska the airspace of narrow maritime border when he rears up and sees not us bordering Canada to the other side a heartbeat away from the good guys. Ya betcha.


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