Top Ten Methods the McCain-Palin Ticket Employs to Incite Mob Violence

  1. Informs American women that facial hair removal will not be included in the Obama-Biden health care plan.
  2. Starts a smear campaign associating Barack Obama with Pontius Pilate, Benedict Arnold, Aaron Burr, Lee Harvey Oswald, Marcus Junius Brutus, Darth Vader, Judas Iscariot, Adolph Hitler, and Todd and Sarah Palin.
  3. Tells us that we are all prisoners of evil forces that feed us a simulated reality called the FoxMatrix.
  4. Sends Sarah and Todd Palin to Flint, Michigan where they stand on a street corner and say, “The economy is fundamentally strong.”
  5. Instead of handing out those six-packs, has Sarah Palin play the extended, dance version of “The Homecoming” on her flute as the warm-up to their political rallies.
  6. Gives Brad Hanson Sarah Palin’s new cell phone number so they can catch up on old times.
  7. Goes to a crowded  movie theater and yells, “Hussein! Black man! Fire!“.
  8. Puts the White House up for sale on EBay and sells it at a loss.
  9. Tells all those people fleeing to Alaska for the End Times and Rapture that they will not qualify for rebate checks.
  10. John will put on some heels, take off his gloves, and do a strip tease with his old “Flame of Florida” at a VFW event.
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